Running Progress

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Minor Meltdown

Okay, I know this is silly and strange to post, but I had a minor meltdown this morning. Since finding out about Julie's breast cancer, I've been trying to get the nerve to perform self exams. So, today was the day I stopped procrasinating and decided to do it. I couldn't!!! I freaked out and cried instead.

I know they say ignorance is bliss, but this isn't something to be ignorant about. I remember being so upset at my Mom when she told me that she knew about her lump for over 6 months but was too scared to do anything about it. I also know that early detection saves lives, cases in point, Julie and Randi. So why can't I suck it up and do it? Am I afraid of what I may find? Well, yeah, who wouldn't be?! Or is it just being scared of what Julie is facing? Or maybe both?!

So I'm thinking that I will set the 24th of each month as my day to check. 24 is a significant number in my life (parents' birthdays and anniversary) and its a date I won't forget. Now, to just get the nerve to do it... *sigh*

2 comments:

Courtney said...

I hear ya. I had my annual at the beginning of the month and mentioned all the people I knew who had been diagnosed with breast cancer recently (thinking of Randi and Julie foremost). He asked if it scared me... I said yes, but was deferring the breast exam to him.... I was too unsure of myself to do it. He said a lot of women feel that way. Not that it helps, but it's nice to know we're not alone.

Julie said...

I was scared to check too, Kori. It's natural. But I wished I'd checked sooner - maybe if I had I would have caught it before it reached my lymph nodes. Your life is too precious, too important, to let your fear overcome you. If you can't do it yourself, then tell your doc you did it and felt something and go in for a mammogram and sonogram for that baseline look and then every year thereafter. It's important. You can do it. Please do. I love you so much.